Living The Life You Deserve

You deserve a wonderful life. Is that your experience or do you even believe it’s possible?

Be-HappyYou deserve to live, to breath in life each moment and live in glorious 3D color. After all, you are a human being, not a human doing. A wise person told me I had value just sitting and breathing. Imagine that! She said I was more than a job title and more than all my “doings.” She said I deserved to love and accept myself.

Hmmm….that was not my experience. On the outside, my life looked happy. I had a nice home, education, a career, my health and the love of family and friends. But on the inside, there was a tape buried deep inside my brain that said, “You don’t deserve to be happy.” (Note: It took me 44 years to determine that tape existed).

I immediately began therapy! I mean, why was this stupid tape in my head and how could I get rid it? And so began the work to purge this negative belief.  And work it was, but the journey to build a life I truly believe I deserve has been worth the effort.

My experience: a few tools for creating a life deserved

I can’t tell you how to solve your problems or achieve a state of happiness. But I can share my experience, the tools I use to deal with life, and what works for me. If you seek to make life changes, you might consider Talk therapy and body work/breathwork.

Talk therapy can’t do everything, but it’s a great start

Stuck-in-a-RutIf you are stuck in a rut or have identified a negative tape in your head, consider finding a good therapist. Ask for referrals and make sure you do a “chemistry” check. A therapist can provide objective feedback and help dig out any “tapes” that are diminishing the quality of your life.

I began work with a therapist in the summer of 2004. She explained that as human beings, until we reach the age of five or six years old, we can’t evaluate the messages our brains and bodies receive. As infants and children, our minds and bodies are basically the equivalent of sponges. We absorb and soak up everything around us — good, bad or in between. All of our parent’s, sibling’s and family’s beliefs, as well as society’s messages and rules, are imprinted on our subconscious minds. And we typically don’t know what those tapes are. But we adapt within our family (family of origin) as best we can. A good therapist can help you uncover any hidden tapes that are affecting your life, re-evaluate them, toss or re-frame them, and recover your true self.

Letting go of Ego; accessing your inner healer

Maybe you are thinking, as I did, that to achieve my goals all I need to do is work more, think smarter, or apply more discipline. Those strategies can be helpful sometimes, in certain situations. But consider that your body has a mind of its own.

Yes, your body has a mind of its own! Just as messages and tapes are imprinted on our minds as infants and children, our bodies are also imprinted by the experiences and feelings during those same years (and in years after). Our body has a memory of everything that has ever happened to us, even if we don’t remember.

For example, say we’ve had a traumatic experience and are working with a therapist. We’re feeling better, but not entirely. Talk therapy is great, but it can’t help you move the experience, feelings and memories OUT of your body.

Some of the ways to release embedded memory from the body include: yoga, massage, cranial sacral balancing, emotional breath release (EBR), tapping, breathwork, and resonance repatterning, just to name a few.

SoarPersonally, I have found breathwork an effective means to process change, get in touch with what’s truly important in my life, and move energy through my body. Breath what? Breathwork involves deep cyclical breathing, with music, for an hour or so. This is followed by artwork (creating a mandala) and processing with another person or a group. For me, the practice puts me into a “waking dream state” that lets my body do its own healing. It provides a rare opportunity to let go of Ego and let my soul soar. I love it.

You deserve the life you want. And the good news is it’s there for the taking, if you are willing to ask for it, grab the tools that work for you, and do the work.

Nancy Jenkins

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